


Why does this always happen to me?

by Minkey222



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Pendragon Is King, Banter, Everyone Is Alive, Gaius is great, Gwaine liked to flirt in the dark, Humor, M/M, Merlin gets turned into a woman, Merlin has gay thoughts, Merlin is Done, Mordred has Gay thoughts, Morgana is a little shit, everyone is a little gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 09:17:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7796098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minkey222/pseuds/Minkey222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin wakes up in agony, his bones hurt and he has definitely gotten heavier. All he can remember is a bright white light and a maniacal laugh. So, why is he a girl now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why does this always happen to me?

**Author's Note:**

> The writing slowly gets better after a while because I started to write this about over a year ago and I'm a little shit who only finished it in June this year. I only just got around to editing and re-reading it, the original version is on my fanfiction account and it recently reached over 10,000 hits, maybe even more (I haven't checked in a while), It was originally in parts but I decided to post it all as one long one because it's not even that long. Enjoy.

_A flash of white light… A malicious laugh… A weight pressing down on him, forcing him to the floor._

* * *

 

What had he ever done to get himself in the situation? All he had ever done was serve King Clotpole, and you know, kept a secret from the very same prince that, if he found out that said secret, could mean he would get himself  _executed_.

All Merlin could remember was a sorceress standing over him. Unsure of her identity. All he could remember was that she had long black hair and that she said with a voice that had a soft and nurturing façade but was laced throughout with evil and ill intent, 'This is for the best of  _both_  of us'. That was before she stood up from where she crouched next to him and walked away and everything went black.

Merlin woke up with a sweat, to the sound of a women scream.  _'Thank God that was just a nightmare!'_ he thought to himself. But little did Merlin know but the nightmare was only just starting. He lay there in bed wiping the cold sweat of his brow when he was suddenly startled when Gaius burst into his bedchambers. Gaius walked over to his wards bed and asked

"Is everything okay m'boy? I heard a scream coming from your room and I came as quickly as I could." Merlin responded with a slight grumble of assurance and with that Gaius got up and left the room but not without asking again if he was okay.

Merlin felt  _absolutely fine_! What on earth could have made Gaius think that Merlin was not okay? Well, at least he thought that when he tried to sit up. He places his hands behind him and pushes himself into an upright position. When he sat up he noticed that his shoulders and legs hurt with a terrible agony, as if they were recently broken, and that he had a weight pushing down on his chest. Maybe he wasn't okay? Merlin swung his legs, that seemed to be miles longer, over the edge of the bed and pushed himself up once more. He took one step forwards and he buckled over his newfound weight and caused a loud crashing noise. His already aching bones hurt more and he sat there in defeat. He called Gaius to his aid and sat there patiently, surely Gaius could tell him what was causing all of this.

Gaius walked into Merlin's bedchambers for a second time this morning. He walked over to the bed only to be met with a long, ebony haired maiden.

"Um… excuse me? Who are y-?" His sentence was cut off when the maiden turned to face him. It was a recognisable face but was covered in tear tracks.

"Merlin?" questioned the old man.

"What have you done this time?" he asked as he knelt down next his ward, whipping off their tears. A stuttery voice came from Merlin's mouth

"What i-is happening to m-m-me?" and he (she?) started to cry again. The voice that came from Merlin's mouth was not his own. It was silky and soft and womanly throughout. "Merlin…" he trailed off, as he thought of a delicate way to put it.

"You have appeared to become a woman" Merlin shuddered. Gaius helped Merlin to her feet, only to find that Merlin couldn't support her own weight, and placed her on the bed.

Merlin was scared, how could this be happening to him? One minute he was serving king clot-pole in his room and the next he was on his bed,  _in agony_ , having the news broken to him that he has appeared to change gender. Gaius darted out the room to get some crutches for Merlin to use so he could at least hobble around slightly. Taking the crutches from her mentor, she tried to stand up again. She could stand once more, even walk around, but the terrible agony being emitted from her bones was preventing him from moving too much. Despite that, he moved himself over to the mirror in his room. He had changed so much! His button up shirt was tight around the chest and his breeches slightly tighter around the hips. In addition to this, his shirt was too long for his now shorter upper body and his breeches too short for his now longer legs. He observed himself further as he changed from his nightwear to his day clothes. He had a curvy body ( _very curvy_ ), mile-long legs, a soft face and mid length, ebony, hair. His face was not much different, except for the smoothing of his chin, he had the same smile and piercing blue eyes, which would be enough for anyone to recognise him.

After dressing in his signature blue shirt, red scarf (pulled down slightly lower for modesty) and brown breeches (that were slightly tight), he grabbed the crutches and slowly walk towards the main room of his and Gaius' shared chamber. They were immaculate, implying that Gaius had been tidying up due to his nervousness for Merlin's state. Before he could even make it to the table that Gaius had made up for breakfast, he had his mentor at his heels.

"Merlin, come sit down over here," Merlin responded with a grunt, as he really wanted some food right now, but complied anyway since he was tired from just walking around the chambers.

Before Merlin could ask why he was asked him to sit down on the patient bed instead of at the table for breakfast, Gaius started to question and prod him in places (some more uncomfortable than others). Merlin just lets it happen, as he knew that his mentor was just worried for his well-being until Gaius asked him the inevitable question.

 "You're  _entirely_ female then?" Gaius asked with a raised eyebrow (this was to imply something he'd rather not ask his young ward, for comfort's sake). Merlin felt himself blush as his cheeks and the tips of his ears heated up. He responded to the question with a slight nod and an embarrassed squeal. Gaius saw the fact that Merlin was less than comfortable with all of the examination and questioning so he left the *ahem*  _internal_  examining for another time.

Gaius said that Merlin was free to now eat breakfast, which was obvious that was something he had wanted to do since during the examination his stomach repeatedly growled. Merlin stood up, with a wince, his bones still ached and every sudden movement felt like needles sticking into his legs, arms and body and started towards the table. He sat down and started on his food. He felt a bit odd as he couldn't sit as he normally did at the table due to his extra weight and his decrease in height (he wasn't much shorter but that was beside the point).

He started to become comfortable when a sudden loud noise made him jump.  **BANG!** Merlin knew who this was, only one person would enter their chambers without knocking and make their presence known like that. He went stiff in realisation. He forgot he was going to have to face Arthur like this.

"Hello, sire. Is there anything that you need?" Gaius asked politely.

"I'm just looking for that useless manservant of mine" Arthur replied. Merlin gulped at the word _man_ in _man_ servant as now he was no longer a _man_ , Merlin just glared into his oats, however.

"Sire, I am sorry to disappoint, but Merlin is  _unavailable to work_  in the present" Gaius responded, he was trying to make it as delicately as possible, so that he could avoid explaining the current predicament to a rather oblivious Arthur.

"What has that  _idiot_  done now?" Arthur shouted, the shouting added to the sudden splitting headache Merlin had developed, between since Arthur had walked in and now.

"Did he spend too long in the tavern again?" Arthur shouting slightly louder, which in turn made Merlin's head pound harder and he just glared harder, pointedly focusing on not glaring at the King. Obviously, he had no control (Or a brain, this is, after all, a place for recovery. What would Gaius think if he had come shouting and there had been a patient?) Merlin only grumbled under his breath, massaging his temples discreetly.

"No sire, I suppose it is a little more  _personal_  than that" Gaius snapped. Merlin cringed at the current predicament and let out a small whimper, either due to his headache or due to the embarrassment.

Arthur turned to face the table, noticing a small form sitting at it and crutches leant on the side of the table. His eye went wide in realisation, that they were not alone.

"Are they Merlin's?" Arthur said signalling to the crutches.

"They are,  _sire_ " Gaius responded in a slightly lower tone.

Arthur was worried now, what had happened to his clumsy manservant that meant that he needed crutches.

"Gaius, what has Merlin done now?" Arthur asked the slightly uncomfortable old man.

Before Gaius could say anything, Arthur noticed the form sitting at the table starting to move to face them.

"He got himself turned into a  _woman,_ " Merlin said as he turned, flinching at the agony, to face, the now completely shocked Arthur.

Merlin huffed in disapproval as he saw the untrusting glances being thrown at him from across the room.

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked and then chuckled slightly.

Merlin felt the anger building up inside of him.

"I'm pretty sure!" Merlin snapped back,

"I would notice if I was making this up. I checked too." Arthur raised his eyebrow in response to his manservant's newfound openness. The raised eyebrow only served to make Merlin blush.

"If you're still unsure, you can check as well!" Merlin chuckled. It was different to his normal laugh, it was high pitched and smooth but was still recognisable as his.

"Well, I wish to kindly inform you that I regretfully decline your offer," Arthur responded, mocking formality.

"But I do hope that you will return to work this instant" Arthur continued with a smile.

"Well, I wish to kindly inform you that I regretfully decline your offer," Merlin responded copying Arthur. Arthur shot her back a confused and angry look.

Merlin pointed to the crutches. "I can hardly walk, let alone serve you, Arthur"

Arthur grumbled and started to move closer towards Merlin.

"You don't need legs to polish armour, do you?" He asked, grinning to himself. He excused himself and left.

Merlin was furious. He had gotten himself into a rather painful and embarrassing situation and Arthur was still ordering him about. Oh well, he would forgive him soon enough.

Merlin grabbed his crutches and slowly made his way to the armoury, where he found Arthur's armour and started to polish.

_I will get him back for this._ Merlin thought.  _How dare he make his injured manservant, that wasn't really a man anymore, do work for him? Surely he should just let me rest and get better so I can actually walk on my own._ Merlin was lost in thought, scrubbing away at the dirtied armour (his new hands were getting tired now) when he was brought back to reality with another loud bang.  _Oh no!_ Merlin jumped, he also forgot that he would not only have to face Arthur like this but also the knights and more importantly Gwaine. Merlin felt himself blush again. He would have to tell them eventually and now would be as good a time as any since they were pouring into the room and he couldn't stand up to run away.

When the knights had slammed the door open, Merlin had jumped so violently that his previous injured back started to flare up again and his eyes started to water without his permission. Merlin was crying and he didn't know why. This was most defiantly  _not_  the best time to be crying. The knights would never let him live this down once they found out. Merlin let out a sob, and then quickly  _and painfully_ put his hand over his mouth to prevent anymore escaping. The knights were straight out of training. The thought of sweaty _, gorgeous_  and topless men made Merlin's mind wonder. This so far was the weirdest day Merlin has had ever and it wasn't even noon yet. What made it so weird was the fact that he, who was now a girl, was semi-disabled, in agony,  _sitting_  on the armoury floor, crying and thinking about he wanted to do to each of his semi-naked friends in the room. This will certainly be a day to remember.

The knights burst into the room, as they normally did, but what they did not expect to see was a girl sitting on the floor next to some crutches, polishing Prince Arthurs armour, crying and trying to stifle a sob. Usually, they would walk into the room and find Merlin polishing Arthur's armour, so who was this and what happened to Merlin? The first to speak up was Gwaine.

"What's wrong little lady?" He said as he walked over to the girl placing a reassuring hand on her back.

"I'm a girl. That's what wrong Gwaine," She said, flinching at Gwaine's touch.

"What do you mean, why's being a girl a problem?" Lancelot added.

"Because,  _Lancelot_ , I'm not normally a girl," She said with a huff.

 "Merlin?" Lancelot added,  _Oh God, it was Merlin!_

A collective gasp came from the group gathered in front of Merlin. Merlin shot daggers back at them through his tear filled eyes. Lancelot, who was standing him, started to help him up. When Merlin was finally back on his feet he took a look at Lancelot and nodded. Gwaine moved next to collect Merlin's crutches and handed them to her. Merlin gladly took them and started to collect the armour strewn about the floor, but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder., the hand Merlin identified as belonging to Lancelot. The other knights moving around her helping her to pick up all of the dropped armour. Lancelot drew her into a kind embrace and whispered into her ear.

"We need to talk about what happened"

Considering that Lancelot was the only one to know of his magic Merlin quickly nodded and agreement. Merlin really needed someone other than Gaius to talk to. Merlin gladly accepted the assistance the knights were offering her and walked back up to the castle.

When they arrived back at the main entrance Merlin tried to stop Gwaine, He really did, but nothing was getting in the way of Gwaine's wrath. Gwaine was angry, you see, because the 'Queen', as Gwaine so graciously put it, needed a lesson in mercy and how to not injure your servants any more than they already were. Merlin felt it was a bit of a mistake to tell Gwaine the full story, but Merlin was looking forwards to seeing Arthur put in his place.

Merlin couldn't help but blush when she thought of the look of hurt and protectiveness that washed over Gwaine's face when she told him what had happened. _OH NO. NO. no, I am not falling for Gwaine..._ Merlin felt himself blushing more furiously than before. _UGH! I hate being a girl!_ Merlin tried to hide his face behind his hair, but to no avail. All of the knights, minus Gwaine (and more surprisingly Mordred), noticed her blushing and instantly started to ask questions.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"Is this okay?"

Merlin just wanted to shrink into himself. _Ugh! Why does this have to happen to me of all people?_ She just answered all of their questions by affirming her comfort. Lancelot shot Merlin an apologetic look but she just glared at him with then put him back a step.

She was almost back to her chambers when she was hit by a nauseous spell. Her head pounded, her back ached and her stomach cramped. _No. no. no. Nope, this is_ not _happening now! Not around the knights. Nope!_ She started to blush more furiously than previous and slowed her already slow pace. Merlin was a physician, or at least knew enough about the human body to understand what was happening.

All the knights stopped to look at her when another wave of pain and nausea hit her again and she let out a small yelp and curled into herself which effectively left her sitting on the floor.  All of the knights started to panic, asking her what was wrong. _As if I would ever tell them what was wrong_ now _...Men..._ Merlin thought bitterly. She looked up at them and said, more weakly than she would admit.

"Get the Queen." When they all looked at her incredulously she growled out "NOW!" Which instantly made them move like rats being chased by a butcher's knife. This was not good at all!

 

When Merlin finally arrived at his chambers, albeit slowly and awkwardly, all he had to do was give Gaius one look. That's all it took for him to understand what had happened and in return, Merlin got a look of sympathy. At least now when the queen of Camelot comes looking for Merlin, Gaius wouldn't be even more worried than he was previously.

Merlin hobbled up the stairs to his chambers and sat wearily on his bed. _Why?_ Was all Merlin could think. There were no way to high heavens that he would tell Arthur. But it would be a bit difficult to hide it if they had to travel to get the cure for whatever had happened to him. He hoped he had been wrong about what he thinks is happening now, but the stabbing feeling he is feeling in his lower abdomen was telling him otherwise.

Gwen hadn't appeared for some time and during that time Merlin had fallen into well-needed rest. Apparently changing gender is tiring work. But during that nap things had gone from bad to worse. Let's just say that things got _messy_ and Merlin's hypothesis was proven true. Glad that he had awoken before Gwen had arrived, or anybody else for that matter, he quickly cleaned himself off and cleaned the ruined sheets with magic. Once he had cleaned up after himself he sunk down onto his bed, defeated. Being a woman was a lot harder than he had originally thought it would be. As soon as he sat down Merlin started to quietly sob into his hands.

Not that long after Merlin had started to cry though Gwen came up to his room finally. Gaius had told Gwen what had happened, so she wasn't shocked when she came in. Gwen, seeing that Merlin was crying, quickly sat down next to her friend and started to comfort Merlin. After discussing a few things and Gwen sending servants to collect a few items, Gwen helped Merlin get cleaned up again and changed into more appropriate and comfortable clothing. Merlin refused to wear a dress though and was adamant about that, so he ended up wearing a cream tunic with pale brown breeches, he wore normal riding boots along with that. He allowed Gwen to put her hair up, but he refused makeup. Whilst Gwen was helping her get dressed, though, Merlin was very uncomfortable with the idea of wearing women's undergarments but Gwen also managed to get her into a corset.

After all the struggle Merlin finally felt better. Gwen had asked for some tea to be sent to Merlin's room, where they sat and talked for a while before Gwen had to  attend to her duties. After Gwen left Merlin sat and read whilst drinking the tea. Finally, after a few hours of rest and a bottle of pain reliever, Merlin decided to return to his duties. Because of the strength of the pain reliever, Merlin was able to walk, slowly albeit and without the aid of his crutches. Glad to free of his restraints he walked to the kitchen to collect Arthur's dinner and brought it to his room.

When he arrived in Arthur's room he sets the dinner on the desk in front of Arthur. Arthur, who had fallen asleep on the desk again, was woken by  the loud noise. When he looked at Merlin, Arthur had a look of light-hearted anger and annoyance in his eyes.

" _Mer_ lin where have you been, pray tell?" Arthur asked in a mock annoyance. Merlin looked at him with a glint of mischievousness in his eyes.

"I don't think you would want to know," Merlin replied.

"Actually, I do want to know. And do you know why I want to know?" He asked rhetorically. "Because after Gwaine stopped shouting at me about how I mistreat my 'injured servants' Sir Leon came is saying that Gwen had to go to you."

Merlin raised an eyebrow at Arthur and his obliviousness.

"Arthur. I'm a woman now. There are some things that are private to women and women alone."

Arthur was about to open his mouth when he realised and blushed deeply.

"Shut it, Merlin." Merlin scowled.

"You're dismissed. I have no need for an angry woman tonight. Just remember that we have training tomorrow with the knights.

Merlin scowled more but left, returned to his chambers, with another sympathetic look from Gaius, and quickly went to sleep soon after.

The next morning Merlin woke up feeling more refreshed. He still hurt but it wasn't as intense as it was when he woke up into this nightmare yesterday morning. He noted when he got up that he was up early for once and took the liberty of having a proper breakfast with Gaius. Once he had eaten he said his "see you later" s to Gaius and went to collect Arthur's breakfast.

She arrived at Arthur's chambers on time and feeling good. Merlin strode in and place the tray of food in his hands onto the table in the room and walked over to the window. He threw open the windows with a loud, and high pitched,

"Let's have you lazy daisy!"

Arthur responded to this by mumbling incoherently and shoving a pillow over his face. Merlin feeling joyous today for some strange reason just tut at him and  pulled the pillow off of his face, rambling on about how 'the king can't be lazy'. When Arthur finally awoke he looked out the window with some insult or jibe about how 'she was late' but then noted that Merlin was in fact on time with everything that he would need that morning for the training. A gobsmacked Arthur got dressed and ready and headed out the door to the train fields.

Once Merlin was down there Arthur said that he could just sit on the side as they 'didn't want to injure her further', but Merlin thinks that he was just afraid of Gwaine. The thought of the cocky knight made her blush. But Merlin wasn't about to pass up for an opportunity to relax so he opted to sit and watch them train. She sat there for a while, just watching as the knights blocked and parried blows. That was until she spotted one knight that had peeked his interest yesterday, Mordred. He had been missing from practice the day previous so she had wondered where he had been. He caught himself staring at him after Mordred had noticed him and started to walk over.

_Emrys?_  Merlin heard in his head. He gave a quick nod.

_What happened?_  Mordred asked.

_I don't know Mordred. I don't know._ Merlin replied sadly.

_Well,_ _I think you're beautiful_ Mordred said wistfully, then blushing once he realised what he had said. Merlin chuckled slightly, also blushing.

_Mi'lady_ Mordred added on, earning a scowl from Merlin. Mordred laughed slightly and then walked back to join the rest of the knights.

After the training had concluded Merlin had joined Arthur back up to his chambers. Arthur had started to list off Merlin's remaining chores, but Merlin couldn't focus on what he was saying. He had a raging headache and was starting to sway where he was standing. Arthur had noticed and set him sitting in an armchair by the fireplace. Merlin had his head in his hands and was willing the headache to go down. Merlin shut his eyes, but it was a mistake because as soon as he has shut his eyes he saw a bright white light. He heard a shrill scream and his ears began to ring. Merlin's eyes watered and a phantom pain started to resonate through his bones, the way they had when he woke up yesterday. Merlin's back bobbed up and down with dry sobs. Arthur saw and made a move to comfort his ser- friend. Arthur pulled her into a sidelong hug and tried to calm her down.

Merlin was almost completely calm once more when the door opened and Gaius burst in.

"Sire, I found how to cure Merlin."

Gaius pushed the King and his ward into his small apothecary, shutting the door behind him. Supplying hushed and vague answers all the while. Eventually, once he had deemed the area safe for discussion he started to speak fully.

“So you said you had a cure- well at least an idea for a remedy?” Arthur asked, applying the same tone as the old man. Gaius nodded, giving a pointed look towards the girl standing beside Arthur.

“I do sire, but it won’t be simple.” Gaius supplied worriedly, wringing his hands as he did so. Merlin let out a suppressed sigh, _why wouldn’t anything in his life be simple?_

“Indeed, I suspected as such. What will it take to cure him- _her_?” Arthur asked assuredly.

“Well, sire. It will entail making the trip to the cauldron of Arianrhod. I believe you are _acquainted_ with the witch that lives there” And Gaius gave another pointed look to Merlin, who looked far too uncomfortable.

Arthur hummed and nodded. “I am, indeed, _acquainted_ with _her_. Although whether or not I should be pleased of this I do not know yet. But if she can cure Merlin, then let it happen. So Gaius when should we leave.”

“Ah yes, I knew that I was forgetting something, sire. You must leave as soon as possible. You have three more days before this change becomes permanent.” Arthur made an indecipherable face, nodded and left the room.

Merlin turned to Gaius and cleared his throat.

“Gaius?” Merlin asked with a tone of incredulity in his voice.

“Yes, mi’boy?”

“How exactly am I going to become the Dolma and perform the magic on myself?” Merlin asked eyebrows raised.

“Well mi’boy, I have an idea. Follow me” Gaius beckoned for Merlin to follow. When he appeared to have reached his desired destination, he paused and pulled a phial from a far cupboard and handed it to Merlin. “When you reach the cauldron you are to drink this.” and he motioned at the rather disgusting looking liquid in his hand. “And you are to say the usual spell. Usually, if you were to the do the normal incantation, the cauldron would have difficulty removing the enchantment as well as Morgana’s magic. This will make the enchantment susceptible to the triple goddesses magic. It will not show your transformation.” Gaius nodded again, having concluded his explanation.

“That’s all very well and good, Gaius. But how exactly, do you suppose, I explain how the Dolma walked into the lake and I walked out of it?” Merlin asked, seeming to be even more perplexed.

“I haven’t a clue. Other than that, try to keep your head. You’re on your own, mi’boy.” and Gaius walked away, without another word.

Merlin grumbled to himself. Despite the fact that he loved that man, like a father, he couldn’t half be as annoying as that troublesome dragon.

He supposed he better not waste any more time. Time to pack the old skirt again.

Merlin, accompanied by Arthur, as well as Lancelot and Gwaine (At their insistence) had left at dawn the next day, not wanting to waste any time. The horse had travelled deftly through the forest and the trip was made amiable by the banter between the group. Soon, however, Merlin found himself feeling ill. Being a female did have a downside you know. He found himself calling the group to stop every few hours to rest so Merlin could deal with his, ahem, _female problems_. Of course, Merlin wouldn’t admit what he was actually doing during these breaks and played them off under the pretence of _‘I am a woman, let me rest. Changing genders is tiring’_. Blaming the constant rests on fatigue.

It had gone midday and Merlin had made the group stop yet again when they heard it. A light rustle in the woods surrounding them. The noise wasn’t much, but it was something and made the knights alert. Grabbing their swords from their resting spots they slowly raised themselves from the ground. Glancing around them, noting Merlin’s absence, Arthur made a signal to be quiet. The rustle sounded again and before they could think to move bandits bounded from the shadows, armed and dangerous. The knights fought tactfully, working through the mob easily. Well, easily is one word to describe the battle.The knights were keeping the bandits away from them and their possessions, but they were outnumbered, 8 to 3. It didn’t look good and Merlin was nowhere to be seen.

Now Merlin had just about finished doing _what he was doing_ when he had heard the commotion and upon hearing metal upon metal he rushed to the edge of the clearing. Witnessing the battle and using swift bursts of magic, a branch of the there, a burn over there, the battle was soon won in their favour.

The battle was over and Arthur stood to wipe off remnants of the fight from his brow, whilst Lancelot and Gwaine surveyed the damage. Hearing another movement from the trees behind them, Arthur slowly removed his sword from its sheath once more, turning the face the noise again, preparing for another fight. Nerves on edge, he shifted his weight, the knights behind him preparing as well. The being moved from beyond the trees and into the clearing. Arthur prepared to pounce, charging his swing and-

It was a woman, or more specifically, it was Merlin. Who was also a woman, so it made sense. Arthur sagged visibly out of relief.

“ _Merlin!_ Where were you!” Arthur whined, looking less like a king and more like a child who didn’t get the treat he had wanted.

“I was _relieving_ myself, Arthur. I hope that suffices for an answer.” Merlin responded, crossing arms in front of his chest to further drive the point that he was not going to talk about it anymore, his emotions running wild, making his temper very short and easily flammable. Arthur ignored this blatant sign of the end of the conversation and continued nonetheless.

“But you took such a long time, you must have a problem, Merlin. It was like this last time we went looking for the Dolma.” Arthur said and Merlin only rolled his eyes at him.

“Arthur, I am a woman. It’s not as easy as you’d think.” Embarrassing Arthur further with a raised eyebrow, still crossing his arms in front of him. Arthur only responded with a blush.

Gwaine couldn’t take it anymore and burst into peals of laughter, obviously finding this discussion hilarious. A manservant turned maid discussing how long it would take for a woman to relieve herself with the king of Camelot. Lancelot only sighed at his friend's antics. They continued on until nightfall, when it was too dark to see their way, and set up camp. Arthur had slept quickly, passing the first shift to Lancelot, who had gladly accepted it. Gwaine had fallen asleep afterwards, finding himself tired after the fight earlier. Merlin found his eyes softly watching Gwaine with a strange interest. Merlin, himself did not feel tired and so opted to stay awake with Lancelot.

“How did this happen, Merlin?” Lancelot asked offhandedly while staring up at the stars. Merlin only responded with a confused grunt, not really paying attention and was more lost in watching Gwaine’s sleeping form then he would like to admit.

“How are you the fairer sex? How did this happen?” Lancelot asked again more assuredly, this time, turning his eyes to meet Merlin’s.

“I- Well, I don’t really remember what happened. Well, I do, I mean-” Merlin stumbled over his words, struggling to find what he was trying to say.

“It was Morgana. I’m sure of it.” He finally admitted to Lancelot.

“I remember some of what happened. It was like a dream, there was a white light and immense pain, unbearable fire everywhere. An awful grinding sound as well. It was horrible. Then she just upped and left and I woke up like none of it happened. I was- Well apparently I had screamed an awful wail whilst I was asleep. When I tried to move it was like every once of my bones had been shattered and put back together. While I lay there, I couldn’t move but it was like I was suffocating because of my-” Merlin stopped himself when he realised what he was going to say, he could feel the blush even then, and moved his hands from his chest. Lancelot just chuckled at the warlocks reaction.

“It’s just funny to me how you could be so brave when fighting the gryphon and other beasts but the thing you find terrifying is being one of the fairer sex.” He chuckled once more and Merlin glared daggers at him.

“It’s harder than you’d think” echoing her previous words to Arthur.

“Indeed, I guess it would be.” Lancelot simply replying, scratching his chin. The two friends shared a look and laughed together. Talking of past memories well into the night.

Dawn broke soon enough and the group found themselves back on horseback. The ride was tedious but went smoothly from there on out. There were no more bandit attacks or magical threats. So far they were safe and the distance moved on quickly. Meanwhile, far away, she watched angrily, growling as she saw the progress they were making and knowing that she couldn’t do anything as they already predicted an attack. She cursed herself and just simply sat to watch their progress. With her luck, a group of bandits would wipe them all out. She laughed bitterly at the thought and sank into her wooden chair and trained her eyes back upon the scrying dish again.

The travel was good enough and they were covering ground quick enough but soon enough they found themselves about 3 hours distance from the cauldron but unable to continue as they were impeded by the dusk. They settled down once more and Merlin prepared dinner with Arthur preparing the bedrolls. After they had fed the horses and themselves they all settled in front of the warm and inviting fire. Arthur cursed their luck. Of course, they had to get so close but even without attacks they hadn’t been able to reach their deadline. He sighed and decided to join in with the conversation that Merlin, Lancelot and Gwaine were having. Gwaine explaining some of the _encounters_ he’d had with some of the fairer ladies. The conversation was lewd and Arthur kept having to remind himself that Merlin wasn’t really a woman, for he felt that even the most stone hardy woman wouldn’t be able to handle some of what was being said. In any case, Arthur himself wasn’t sure if he could handle it but apparently Merlin was enraptured in Gwaine’s rude tales.

Merlin was in fact enraptured with Gwaine, just not what he was saying.  He simply admired his roguish face and features, his rippling muscles with bulged each time that he moved his hands to speak or make inappropriate gestures as he was wont to do. He found himself enamoured with his deep laugh and overall just Gwaine in general. It did nothing how many times he shook his head to steady himself nor how many times he reminded himself that he was a man. He just couldn’t get rid of the thought of taking Gwaine over to a secluded area, pushing him against a tree and- No he wouldn’t think of that.

Gwaine was telling Lancelot of a particularly enrapturing tale when he had been down the tavern when they had gotten a new barmaid, just out of town when he noticed the slightly ditzy look on Merlin’s face. He laughed and waved a hand in front of her face but she didn’t stir. He laughed again and looked to Lancelot for help but he only laughed along, so he simply placed his hand on her shoulder and she started. Her expression after being woken from her stupor was a mix between guilt and embarrassment, and Gwaine found that it only made him laugh harder, making Merlin blush harder and the cycle continued.

Merlin shook the hand from his shoulder and stood, muttering a weak excuse of getting more firewood and excused herself from the circle to calm himself off. Gwaine of course just had to follow him despite the protest that he could take care of himself well enough but Arthur had just laughed and joked that he couldn’t even lift a sword let alone protect myself from a long overdue attack and so the last person she wanted around at this moment was coming into the dark with her, alone. Glad for the darkness to hide his undeniable blush from such inappropriate thoughts, Merlin started to collect twigs and dry wood for the fire. Obviously, the gods were out to get him that day because as soon as his blush decided to calm down Gwaine spoke up in that deep rumbling voice of his which just elicited a brand new blush from him.

“You seem to have developed an obsession with staring at me, Merlin” Gwaine chuckled and Merlin ducked his head to hide yet another blush. Merlin swore that his head would explode from the blood pooling in his cheeks before this night was up.

“I mean I wouldn’t blame you. If I could I would spend all day staring at myself.” Gwaine only moved closer to him and with a couple of strides, he was right behind him. Merlin’s breath hitched and Gwaine turned him around to face him. Merlin could feel Gwaine’s breath on his face. Gwaine only used this to his advantage but at the same time found himself lost in the deep blue that were Merlin’s eyes.

“Wouldn’t you agree?” Gwaine’s voice growled and Merlin found himself jelly at in his grip and speechless. Gwaine smirked and leant his head forwards pressing his lips firmly against Merlin’s own full lips. Merlin felt breathless and his eyes flickered shut. He melted into the kiss and reciprocated it eagerly but it soon ended. A loud ‘Merlin? Gwaine?’ Was heard and they knew they had to be back quickly. Merlin quickly picked up the wood which had slipped from her grasp and they both returned quickly to the fireside. Merlin cleared up and place the wood into the fire. He lay down and tried to sleep but unable to. These new strange feelings were odd to him and he found that they kept him awake so he simply lay there with his mind providing the scene over and over again to him. He felt safe under Gwaine’s watchful eye as he took the first night shift. Arthur and Lancelot lay themselves down and slept and Merlin too found himself lulled to sleep after. He slept through the night, not once was he woken for night watch and he was glad for it.

Morning came all too soon for Merlin, and he found that he was grumbling under the sunshine much like a certain clot pole that he knows well. He knows that he must face the day, though, and so with great reluctance to pull himself from a peaceful slumber, he stands, brushes off his dress and starts to prepare for the relatively short journey to the cauldron. Merlin thinks of the dreams that the night brought to him and then subsequently blushes when he catches Gwaine’s eye- which so happens to be glinting brilliantly under the dawn. He looks down at the floor and then busies himself with the work. Of course, Arthur wouldn’t be doing anything, as per usual. Merlin scoffs then continues on with the mindless work, scrubbing down the bowls from the night previous and rolling up the blankets and bedrolls; all work for a servant, if only they knew- Merlin pauses, hand mid-scrub and thinks, this is not a thought he should be thinking at the moment, he swears, he will never tell them should it never come up. He sighs and his hand continues its motion. Soon the morning's preparations are done and they- Merlin, Arthur, Gwaine and Lancelot- are all perched upon their respective horse's back and make their way to the cauldron where Merlin would regain his masculinity, though, should it not work, Merlin ponders, he doubts that he would mind all too much if he were stuck this way forever. He would have everything he wanted, he could be a woman if it called for it. Certainly, there would be no faults with it, he views women no less than himself, and villains in the night would not recognise his effeminate face- but the thought unsettles him. He is not and never will be a _real_ woman. He shakes his head at the thought.

Merlin’s thought continue on the same thread right up until he reaches the very place that they were headed to. The waters of the cauldron gleamed brightly in the sun, which was now overhead and beating down on them with midsummer heat. The surface sparkled with beauty matched only by the triple goddess themselves. The sight took Merlin’s breath away, he didn’t get the appreciate the sight during his last visit, he was, of course, preoccupied with the queen. The very queen who had been so helpful, Merlin smiled at the thought of Gwen, and she was glad that she was able to free her from Morgana’s evil spell. Jumping down off of his horse, followed by Arthur then the knights, she pulled the necessary bags free and announced that she was going to find the witch,

“Should I be the one to get her? I am the king.” Arthur had protested, but Merlin had stuck him with a glare and a simple announcement of,

“Yes, but I am the one being transformed,” and Arthur had left it at that, Lancelot had simply smirked at her. Merlin turned on his heel, bag in tow and hid behind that trusty rock, tugging on his normal clothes and then the Dolma’s clothes on top. He hesitated, making sure that none of his original clothes was visible from underneath the coarse black fabric of the dress. Then before uttering the spell that would age him beyond his years he pulled out a little glass phial, and after tugging the cork out he chugged it down in one gulp; cringing at the vile flavour, cursing Gaius all the while. He muttered the spell under his breath and with a flash of gold he was once again the Dolma.

Swaggering out from behind the rock he headed towards the group, putting on his best show. Hips swaying and lips pouted- he looked every inch the old witch and then some. Arthur simply glared at him, his jaw clenching and then unclenching, Gwaine looked in confusion and wariness and Lancelot- well, Lancelot looked like he was trying his hardest to keep in his laughter. Merlin glared at him, but just as he looked over Lancelot feigned a look of innocence; Merlin only glared harder and then resumed his look of wisdom.

“Arthur, nice of you to come see me again, and so soon,” He heavily applied the old accent and peculiar glare, grinning widely and openly- revealing all his crooked and rotten teeth, he even batted his eyelashes for the effect, Arthur looked appalled at the image he had gotten in his head and it took all he could to not burst out into peals of laughter at the pale pallor Arthur had gained, Arthur cleared his throat.

“Dolma, I have come here to fix what had been done to my manservant,” He looked around and then asked, “Where is Merlin?”

“Oh, him. You know how it works, he is my surety. No harm shall befall him,” He said, moving his hands in a whimsical manner to emphasise his point.

“But how-?” Arthur started to ask but Merlin interrupted with a ‘hush’ hand held up to stop him.

“I have my ways. Trust me, I know what I’m doing. He will come back to you.” He gave them a cryptic look and then turned and started to walk into the waters, marvelling as the light reflected on the smooth waters. Then suddenly a thought came into his head, how will he explain this away? Thinking quickly he turned his head over his shoulder and called out,

“This shall be the last time you will see me, I think, my King. I shall become one with the old religion soon, Arthur. I am glad to be serving you one last time, Goodbye,” and he walked further into it, slowly muttering the words under his breath, his eyes glowing pure gold; the white light started growing around him. This light reminded when he was turned not  5 days ago now, but this time, there was no pain, no cruel laughter. No, this time, there was beauty unknown and a comfort from an unseen presence.

He felt his facade melting away, Gaius’ potion taking hold and letting the Dolma run into the waters along with his femininity. The light had completely engulfed him, and along with the old face, went the old clothes he had worn, leaving only his regular attire. It was a wonderful sight, he felt blessed to witness it, he breathed out a sigh of relief.

The light slowly ebbed away leaving him alone in the waters, leaving him deprived of the warmth of the triple goddess. He looked around regaining his bearings, he turned to face his friends. Plastering a wide, goofy smile on his face; a look of bewilderment and confusion was easily created. He shouted out to the shore,

“Woah, what happened?” He laughed heartily, glad to hear that it is back to normal- deep and throaty, and Arthur joined in equally as happily, eyes crinkling in merriment. They all laughed in joy as Merlin waded his way back to the shore. Gwaine pats his back as he trudged his way back up to the horses, Lancelot exchanged knowing looks and Merlin had the thought to look embarrassed, blushing wildly as he realised that the look in Gwaine’s eye is still as beautiful now as it was before.

They made their way back to Camelot unheeded.

Eventually they had made it back to Camelot and in no time at all; no attacks either, just light hearted banter between the best of friends and for that Merlin was grateful. It was a weird feeling- getting used to being in your own skin again. Merlin hadn’t been a woman for long, less than a week, and yet, he felt changed for the experience. It was hard work getting used to the height change as well, he kept hitting his head on branches than had previously been too high to reach before. That was just the beginning of it, the weight shift had him miscalculating every move; he was becoming every inch the clumsy idiot Arthur thinks him to be, that thought alone makes him smile goofily. In all fairness he is glad to be changed back and was also happy to notice that nothing seemed to have changed between them all through this whole ordeal, it is the small liberties, Merlin thinks.

Riding back through the cobbled streets of his home, Merlin smiles at the sights around him. It had taken the better part of a day to get back from the cauldron and so it was nearing eventide- the sun hanging low in the sky, casting an orange glow over the city, making look even more majestic and Merlin simply drinks in the sights. He looks around at the slowly clearing streets, watching as stall owners pack up and mother's herd their children into their home for supper. It makes him think of little Ealdor and his own childhood. He thinks of Hunith and he has a nostalgic glint in his eyes as he rides up to the castle.

He notes that as they near the building his friends are stood on the steps awaiting their arrival eagerly and he sees the smiles breaking through the thick fog of anxiety as they all see them trotting through the courtyard; even more so when they see that Merlin is returned to normal. He smiles back. He catches Mordred’s eye as he rides to the stables, though, and hears his voice very clearly in his head and he’s not sure who’s more shocked- him or Mordred,

_You’re still beautiful_

Looking at the young druid he can’t help but chuckle as the boy looks down with a sheepish smile on his face, a rosy blush adorning his cheeks.

_Thank you_

He responds, batting his eyelashes for the effect and his giggles turn to full blown laughter when Mordred makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat and his blush hardens to a deep red, he offers him a sheepish smile and Merlin shares a moment with him, laughing in true camaraderie.

When he reaches the stables he jumps off of his horse with less grace than usual, one again miscalculating the distribution of weight and wobbling on his feet for a few seconds before righting himself and leading his horse into its cubicle. He takes a moment to attend to the horse, feeding and watering it, running his hand over the soft fur on its neck, appreciating the loyal animal. He hears a presence behind him in the room and turns hurriedly on his heels to face the intruder. He calms considerably when he notes that it is simply Gwaine, and apple in one hand his other in a placating manner. Merlin’s chest deflates as he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Gwaine takes a bite out of his apple and then feeds the rest to Merlin’s horse.

“Hello, Gwaine,” Merlin smiles fondly at him as he strokes the horse carefully. Gwaine turns his head and smiles equally as fondly at Merlin. Gwaine turns and strides purposefully towards him, stopping only a hairbreadth before him. Looking into his eyes, Gwaine speaks,

“Hello, Merlin,” Gwaine’s voice is deep and gravelly, just like it was that night in the forest and  Merlin’s breath hitches.

“I believe that we were interrupted last time, I intend to make up for that.” He says softly and Merlin is lost in Gwaine’s eyes. A faint blush running over his cheeks, Gwaine gently caresses his chin and presses his lips to his own, so very soft and it leaves Merlin’s knees weak. His eyes slide shut as he melts into Gwaine’s touch and too soon it is over. Gwaine pulling away so quietly, his chin still in his hand.

“Thank you,” Merlin all but whispers out and Gwaine just smiles brightly at him. Yes, Merlin was definitely glad for the experience and he wouldn’t have changed a thing.

* * *

 

She screams out in a rage, the angry sound shaking the walls around her, the connection breaking forcefully and shaming the bowl she had been looking into; water spilling everywhere. Her look is erratic and she snarls at nothing. Her plan had failed. Her eyes narrowing a single word fills her senses;

“Emrys.”


End file.
